


Blind as a Thief

by everythingbutthekitchensink



Category: Persona 5
Genre: I call him Akira sorry Ren fans, his glasses are real, joker can't see au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24286063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingbutthekitchensink/pseuds/everythingbutthekitchensink
Summary: As if navigating palaces wasn't already difficult enough, Akira Kurusu has to do so nearly blind. With the help of his fellow Thieves, he narrowly avoids death-by-shadow at every turn.Why didn't Arsene incorporate contact lenses into his costume?
Comments: 33
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome to my first fic from this fandom :) Please bear with me as I don't write often and I am currently a student so updates will be wonky. 
> 
> Basic concept of the AU is that Joker actually needs his glasses. I haven't decided on ships yet but I'll update tags as needed!

Never in his life did Akira Kurusu think that advice from his defending attorney would become such a hassle. 

“Joker! How could you miss  _ again?” _ That’s the thing that Ryuji keeps calling a cat. He thinks it’s far more like a large, black-and-white bobblehead. 

_ “Listen kid, I think if you wear the glasses, the judge will be lighter on your sentence. It’ll make you look more innocent.” _ That was the sentence that got him here, in the middle of a warped castle that was, apparently, the inside of that Kamoshida’s head, blind as a bat and aiming at what was a blur, at best. It’s not his fault that his parents deemed the glasses preferable to buying contacts in Tokyo - what with the sales tax being higher and all - but it’s definitely his problem, since Arsene didn’t seem to be aware of his incredible nearsightedness. 

He aims again, this time with Mudo. It hits. 

_ At least Arsene does all the aiming with these, _ he thinks. 

+++

Akira wishes he had his sight in the Velvet Room. Normally, he can see properly in dreams, but the Velvet Room’s bizarre nature as a “place” takes even that away from him. He wishes that he could tell Caroline and Justine apart by more than voice, and hopes dearly that the shape that makes Igor’s nose is truly just that. The man, or whatever he may be, is disturbing enough as it is, with his glowing guillotines and talk of “rehabilitations” and “ruin.” 

He thinks, fleetingly, of the fact that he may never see Arsene properly, without the haze filtering over that dark form. 

+++

It isn’t until Ann joins them that anyone realises his predicament. He silently thanks her for being so tactful, when it’s his fault they keep getting jumped by shadows. 

“Hey, uh, Aki- I mean, Joker, you’re not… those glasses you wear, they’re not  _ real, _ are they?” She asks, after they get to a safe room. Ryuji’s head snaps up, or at least he thinks it does, after the yellow spot blurs in his peripherals. 

“Um,” somehow, he thought it would be easier to admit he’s been flying blind, literally, but the words catch. “You’re not wrong.” 

Silence.  _ This is so awkward. _

Ryuji pipes up, “for real? You mean you’ve been kicking ass and you haven’t even been able to see the asses you’re kicking?” 

How eloquent of him. “That’s the gist of it.”

“Can we help, then? I can call out when to ambush, things like that. I’m sure we can make it feel natural with practice.” Has Akira said that he’s grateful for Ann yet? Because he is. He is so damn grateful. And when he sees the black-and-white blob, and the blond shock both shake in nods, he has to say that he’s grateful for them too. 

+++

And it works like a charm, just like she said. Practicing throughout Kamoshida’s palace turns the team into a well-oiled machine, and Akira can confidently say he trusts these three with his life. After all, they are telling him where to aim and when to pounce, when it really matters most. 

“Joker, the treasure is behind this door, I’m sure of it!” They’re so close now, so close, and he can finally get back to defined shapes and navigating the world by himself once this route is secure. One more day, and he never has to return to this world full of dark shapes and blurs that reach out to tear him apart. They just have to turn this silvery blob - which he has been reassured is just as blurry to everyone else - into an item, and once they get it out they’re home free. 

The fight with Kamoshida’s shadow is, in every way, a total bitch. There’s a lot of brightness and movement and he has to send someone to steal the crown right off this beast’s  _ head? _ By the time it’s over, Akira can feel a headache blooming behind his eyes, and he’s just glad that Ann takes the lead, and his and Ryuji’s arms, when they begin to run from the falling castle. 

“The treasure was his  _ medal? _ Isn’t that stealing, dude?  _ Are we gonna get arrested?” _ He’s at a loss for words while Ryuji panics. How could they get this back to Kamoshida without getting in huge trouble for having it in the first place? 

Morgana eases all of their fears, “Relax, this one’s a fake. That guy’s still got the real one, and we just have the luck to make a few bucks off of this thing!”

Iwai doesn’t question it much, either, just passes a wad of cash across the thick glass of the counter with an eyebrow raised. Akira is thankful that he doesn’t have to upgrade their equipment in the Metaverse, where he can’t gauge the realism without holding model guns inches from his face and squinting like a madman. Here, in the real world, Akira has never been more thankful for the thick glass covering his face and weighing over his nose. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy... to be completely honest, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. But I didn't want to postpone and adding more felt wrong. It just needs to be a little jumbled sometimes, or so I feel. 
> 
> Also, sorry for the not-cliffhanger. Oops. And my poor solution to picking a ship. More on that later.

If it weren't for the fact they never bothered to call, Akira would be expecting a lecture from his parents any time now. He  _ wasn't _ supposed to buy contacts, sure, but after Ann and Ryuji gave him those pleading looks in the subway, and Morgana introduced them to changes of heart through Mementos, he couldn't just quit this thief business. 

But he  _ could _ work better if he was able to see their targets. Hence the contacts, and a lingering fear of the phone ringing any second, his mother's voice demanding to know  _ what kind of nonsense are you buying now to make that big of a withdrawal so suddenly?  _

He couldn't very well tell her the truth, but maybe he could find her in Mementos and convince the shadow to not make a big deal about it. 

+++

It stands to say that Akira should've expected this,  _ worried _ about this, more than a call from the family. If his entire getup changed when entering the Metaverse - even his  _ socks, _ how thorough was that? - then it was possible for the contacts to be left behind too. 

Akira didn't consider himself a man of vulgarity, but everyone deserves a "fuck this" now and then. Especially after wasting a good 6,230 yen on contacts. Especially now that there’s no way he can navigate this place at full clarity. Briefly, he wonders how productive kicking a sentient bus would be. Or a shadow, maybe. The exploration could do him more good than he thought today. 

Until Ryuji smiles sheepishly, and Ann avoids his gaze with a halfhearted, “sorry, I don’t think I can trust myself to drive… and I definitely don’t trust  _ Skull _ to do it.” 

“I’m sorry, you trust me to drive when I legally can’t without aides, and you are fully aware I don’t have them in here? Have you both lost your  _ minds?”  _

They had. He was unanimously elected driver. A rule is set: no complaining about the quality of the ride unless you take the wheel after saying so. They complain anyway. Especially Morgana, who screams everytime Akira gets too close to a wall or turns too tight. 

Akira wishes the cat could drive himself. 

+++

He’s never considered himself particularly focused on romance, but Akira will be damned before he admits that part of the reason he wanted the contacts to work was to see Ann and Ryuji’s Metaverse wardrobes. They’re both attractive in the real world, in the ugly plaid of Shujin, so he can’t imagine why they wouldn’t be when in outfits tailored to their personalities. 

He might be a little smitten. Just a tad. But there was nothing wrong with that; Akira was perfectly comfortable in his own skin, and the real trouble lay in his difficulty choosing  _ who _ between Ann and Ryuji he would want to ask out. 

Mishima only complicated the issue. “Hey, Kurusu! You’ll never believe this, but some girls posted on the forum about how they wanted to meet some Thieves, and even date them! Do you want to go with me to meet up?” He finished this proposal with a flourish of poorly-wiggling eyebrows and a more-nervous-than-seductive look. 

It was hard to watch him make that face, yet somehow Akira still found himself thinking,  _ “I’d rather date you than some random fangirl.” _

Was he really just into anyone stupid enough to associate with him, in spite of his infamous record? Or was it something about people with too-plucked eyebrows? That  _ had _ to be it. He was going to lose his mind. 

And then, entered Yusuke. And if Akira was damned before, he most certainly was now. The guy was an artist, sure, but he also looked like he was from a painting - everything about his appearance was precise, even his anger and worry made his forehead only crease in the most elegant ways.

Too bad he threatened the cops on Akira. They could’ve been perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About that ship thing I mentioned before: I'm absolutely open to putting our dear boy with someone, but I also don't particularly want to either? I know ship stuff and best character choices get pretty heated in this fandom, and I might just make him too smitten to ever really act. I'll figure it out as I go, but if you have opinions or ideas please do share!
> 
> HUGE thank you to everyone for the kudos, comments, and hits - I've never really liked my own writing but I am so glad you all do!
> 
> Have a great day and thanks again for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team meets Yusuke.

When they first met with Yusuke at the exhibition, Akira could practically feel his dilemma getting worse. The guy was good-looking, talented, and excruciatingly polite, what more could he want for?

And then Yusuke slam-dunked the “polite” point into the trash bin. 

“No, no! You simply cannot appreciate it properly like that.” A voice from behind Akira rang out, as he and Ryuji observed a piece with swirling blues and reds. It was none other than Yusuke. 

Ryuji smiles. “Oh, is this one of those paintings you gotta see from a distance? Here, let me -”

“No, not  _ you, _ ” he says, turning towards Akira. “You are looking at this piece in the entirely wrong way.”

And suddenly Akira’s glasses were off his face. “You see, to properly appreciate art, you must look at it unhindered. I simply  _ cannot _ allow you to put a frame around the whole world,” he finishes by tucking the glasses somewhere Akira cannot see well enough to determine. 

Well, if he had to look without them, then he could at least look close enough to see it in detail, right? He leans in, closer and closer, until his face is within mere inches of the canvas. Yusuke squawks, and at this level Akira can see that the brush strokes are textured. 

“What are you  _ doing? _ ” 

He grins. “Just following your instructions, of course. I can only see it clearly this close. The texture is beautiful, but I do wish I could look at the whole thing.”

Akira can hear Ryuji trying desperately not to laugh. He wishes he could see Yusuke’s expression. 

“Very well, I suppose. I cannot have you that close to the art, so I will allow you to look at it with these.” His lenses are pressed into his hands, and he gets them back on in time to see the redness of the painter’s cheeks as he strides off. 

Ann gets a good laugh, too. “He  _ took _ them from you? Just like that, right off your nose?” It’s a moment he cherishes, laughing with his friends over a mundane story. 

+++

The days that follow are completely the opposite. 

They find that Madarame does, in fact, have a palace; a shining golden museum, full of artwork Akira’s quite certain would swirl even if he could see right and roaming shadow guards. 

The pictures on them are nothing short of shocking, either. “Holy crap! Is that the guy from Mementos? Nakanohara?”

Ann and Morgana echo the surprise, and Akira finds it nothing short of strange that there would be faces of other corrupt people here. 

Maybe they’ll have to fight an imaginary Yusuke. He really hopes not. 

They sneak their way past guards and sensors, making great progress… until they’re faced with a massive door so ridiculously large and ornate that even Akira can see the design clearly. 

Ann sighs. “I guess I’ll be modeling after all, if it gives us a chance to open that…” The team agrees, and they set a plan in motion to open the strange door. 

They can’t let another face be added to the gallery. 


End file.
